You know it’s been 20 years since I managed to walk away from the pubs & clubs, washed up in a world of phoney friendships. Alcohol being the core of that social strata which actually told me I was ‘cool & popular’...The need to be ‘liked’....
Well, now it’s time to poke the Nicotine right in the eye. I have tried this, a number of times in the past. Failure has always caught me in my corner, gloves up on the defence, ducking and weaving, doing everything that I can to avoid the metaphorical blows of craving.
Today is the 2nd June and it is also my 9th day without Nicotine in any shape or form. I have puffed away on a pack per day for 35 years or more and BOY, did I go into shock. I seriously have no faith in replacing one form of addiction with another equally destructive addiction. Don’t start vaping or madly chewing gum like a frenzied cow on cocaine. Train your mind to accept that there will be huge challenges, it won’t be easy, but all of those challenges pass, ALWAYS! The fuzzy mind, loss of concentration, even blurred vision and the desire to punch every idiot square between the eyes really only lasts for about 72 hours. Thereafter it’s a wave of wanting which recedes like every wave.
Once again I have thrown myself into the AA lifestyle of ‘a day at a time’. I am just like you, I have trawled the house looking for a half smoked pack, inspected the butts, lying on the ground, I have even put one to my lips. But at that moment, I realised I am stronger than any drug.
I have looked at my children through a cloud of smog and a wheezing chest and the thought of a hospice bed and no hope made this decision so easy.
When I successfully departed from the barfly life, the immediate benefits of sobriety were overwhelming and gave me the strength to stick at it, whatever the cost. Well, in 8 days, I have virtually stopped coughing, I can inhale what feels like a good lungfull of clean air, I certainly smell better (in two senses of the word) but most of all, I feel empowered once more. I have taken control.
What I once learned from Alcohol addiction, was the ‘desire’ to drink was the biggest hurdle to overcome. My higher power who has no name was nagged on a daily basis to rid me of the ‘desire’.....This is once more my secret weapon, You who cares, “RID ME OF THE DESIRE”......it is going, as each day passes, it really does get easier. Don’t steal a sneaky puff, if you do...you’re screwed. It’s that simple.
The Jackanory song for this little ‘Pearl of Wizardry’....